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The worst Marvel movie is number 1 on streaming

The worst Marvel movie is number 1 on streaming

By Michileen Martin | 20 seconds ago

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There was once a movie studio called Sony. Sony had Some-Marvel, and just some of Some-Marvel were things people wanted to see. People wanted to see Spider-Man. People wanted to see Venom (which was actually Spider-Man, if Spider-Man was an oil slick that ate humans). That was pretty much it, at least when it comes to Sony’s Some-Marvel. However, Sony did not let people stop them. They started developing movies for every character that had ever fought Spider-Man, loved Spider-Man, talked to Spider-Man, owed money to Spider-Man, accidentally bumped into Spider-Man, and apologized before realized it was all Spider-Man’s fault and then felt bad about apologizing, etc. And then, the worst Marvel movie – 2022s Morbius – was born.

But that being the worst Marvel movie? When you are the absolute worst at something – like then the 1986s Howard the Duck exists, and you are somehow worse than that – is that it’s a bit like a car accident on the side of the road; human beings need to see it. If there is no other reason, they need to know if what they are hearing can be true. In case of Morbius, people seem to really, really need to know how bad it is, and they’re finding out at an alarming rate. The film is at the moment movie number 1 on Amazon video-on-demand rental, as reported in the tweet below.

Exactly who is the star of the worst Marvel movie? Well, for the movie no one asked for, Sony cast the actor no one wanted: Jared “when will WB admit he’s no longer a Joker” Leto. Leto plays Michael Morbius, a scientist who suffers from a rare and disabling condition that he treats by turning himself into a vampire. The villain in the play is Milo – played by Matt Smith from Doctor Who fame – who suffers from the same condition as Morbius and eventually gains the same abilities. The difference between the two? Basically, Morbius is much more picky about who he kills and draws their blood from. So you could say that Morbius is a food critic who only eats at expensive, well-reviewed restaurants and Milo does not care if he eats drive-thru or gourmet.

Along with Leto and Smith, the ranks of those who are tricked into starring in the worst Marvel movie include Adria Arjona (Pacific Rim: Uprising) as Morbius’ love interest Martine Bancroft, Jared Harris (Chernobyl) as Morbius’ mentor Dr. Emil Nicholas, Tyrese Gibson (Furious 7) as FBI agent Al Madrigal, and Corey Johnson (Captain Phillips) as Mr. Fox. Michael Keaton also makes a cameo like his Spider-Man: Far from home the villain Adrian Toomes in a scene in the middle of credits that is largely universally considered to make about as much sense as anything else in Morbius.

Do you remember when the COVID-19 pandemic first hit North America and just about every movie in 2020 was delayed? Well before that happened Morbius was scheduled for release in 2020, at the end of July. The news of the first pandemic-related delay, to March 2021, was met with a resounding, “yes ok, what movie?” The worst Marvel movie would be delayed four more times: until October 2021, until January 21, 2022, until January 28, and finally April. Due to the invasion of Ukraine, Sony refused to release Morbius in Russia which in retrospect seems completely unfair to the rest of us. Despite playing an actor that no one likes as a superhero no one cares about, Morbius somehow flopped worse than a fish in a Faith No More video.

morbius venom ny trailer
Jared Leto inn Morbius (2022)

But that would not be the end of the worst Marvel movie. Apparently adhering to the adage that all press is good press, Sony reissued its stinking pile of blood-sucking rubbish, and once again no one wanted to see it. Why did they first want to try, try again? Well, mens Morbius failed to be popular as a good movie, it led to the popular “It’s Morbin ‘Time!” meme. Assuming many memes would translate into lots of ticket sales, Sony wasted theater space that could have been used for anything. Literally everything else. Maybe storage space. A flea market. A pop-up shop to sell the floppy inflatable guys with their arms outside used car dealers. Anything.

To see for yourself whether Sony should have bet or not Morbius through the heart long before it hit theaters, it is available for rent and purchase (!!!) on Amazon.

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