Chris Pratt’s worst movie streams for free
By Nathan Kamal | 11 seconds ago
Before Chris Pratt was America’s last controversial, yet generic action hero, he was a beloved, tongue-in-cheek old man of a superhero. But before that, he was the nation’s silly of a golden retriever of a girlfriend, whom he embodied so well that it seems to have planted the seeds of the current setback against him. But even before that, Chris Pratt was a supporting actor in a number of very stupid, forgettable films, where he most often played a trick. The worst of these films is the 2009 romantic comedy Bridal War, a film so toxic that on its own it makes Anne Hathaway, Kate Hudson, Chris Pratt and the marriage institution look bad. Bridal warrior currently streaming for free on the Amazon Prime Videos FreeVee service.
Bridal warrior Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson play Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson as lifelong best friends, both of whom have been obsessed with having the perfect wedding since witnessing a perfect wedding at New York City’s Plaza Hotel. Chris Pratt plays Anne Hathaway’s girlfriend accountant (who quickly became engaged), in a role that makes one ask “who could imagine Chris Pratt as an accountant?” After Chris Pratt proposes to the sweet but meek Anne Hathaway, the more persistent and bossy Kate Hudson gives her own boyfriend for the hedge fund manager to propose (Steve Howey). The film’s real hook comes when the two both rent the services of Candice Bergen (who also tells the film), New York’s most coveted wedding planner, and is accidentally booked for the same wedding date at the Plaza. Then Anne Hathway and Kate Hudson both go crazy.
There is no better or easier way to say it than that. Bridal warrior largely, Chris Pratt and Steve Howey stay away to make more room for Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson to instantly forget their lifelong friendships and sabotage each other in escalating ways. While Kristen Wiig the big movie comedy from 2011 Bridesmaids handled the subtitle of the groom’s uselessness in movies like these better by precisely not giving Maya Rudolph’s fiancé (Tim Heidecker) a single reply, Chris Pratt only shows up occasionally to act increasingly controlling and unpleasant. Most of the film involves discolored spray brown, Paul Scheer as a manic dance instructor (in a rare bright spot of comic energy in the film), and of course some good old fashioned body shaming while Anne Hathway tries to get Kate to Hudson is too fat to fit in her dress .
The first woman-to-woman physical match in the pursuit of wedding perfection takes place about 25 minutes in Bridal warrior. Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson track down another soon-to-be-bride (Casey Wilson, who co-wrote the script with June Diane Raphael, but more on that in a moment) and try to scare her into changing her wedding day. It will be a complete fight, but it is not the only physical battle; near the climax of Bridal warrior, Anne Hathaway tackles Kate Hudson during her actual ceremony, which leads to the then two A-list actors breaking on the ground in wedding dresses. This was pretty much the whole marketing angle of Bridal warrior.
Bridal warrior was a solid ticket booth, raising $ 115 million on a $ 30 million budget. It was successful enough to inspire a Chinese remake in 2015. Not surprisingly, it was ruined by critics. It currently has a sick 11% on Rotten Tomatoes (the lowest of Chris Pratt’s filmography, apart from the bizarre anthology Film 43, which does not really qualify as an actual film as much as a lifelong embarrassment to everyone involved). Reviewers noticed the worn-out and highly misogynistic central concept, which claims that women are so obsessed with weddings that they want to ruin everything around them in search of the perfect ceremony. Nor is it subtitle; a phone call between Steve Howey and Chris Pratt early in the movie is actually two brothers saying “women are crazy, right?” back and forth.
Bridal warrior makes much more sense when one realizes that it was originally written by Greg DePaul, the writer behind 2001’s Save Silverman; that movie is completely built around the idea that marriage is terrible and Jason Biggs must be physically saved from it by Jack Black and Steve Zahn, plus that Neil Diamond is there too. Real-life comedians / best friends Casey Wilson and June Diane Raphael wrote about the script and apparently tried to inject some satire and dark comedy into it, but there is no escaping the madness of the plot itself. Luckily for him, Chris Pratt would join Parks and recreation same year Bridal warrior was released, which pushed him to stardom as a completely different type of jerk, until his character was turned into a nice guy. In retrospect, Chris Pratt avoided this particular ball of dust typecasting only to be hit by a future like a dust of an action star.